


A Thousand Fires

by knoxoursavior



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types, Thor - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 05:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knoxoursavior/pseuds/knoxoursavior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki lies dying on the ground and yet there are also a thousand different versions of him scattered in different universes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Thousand Fires

**Author's Note:**

> based on [this prompt](http://norsekink.livejournal.com/13205.html?thread=33352597#t33352597) from thor kinkmeme:
> 
>  
> 
> Frigga, Norns dictated that she could only save one son. And she chose... Thor.
> 
> She saw in her visions all the possible 'verses and the different outcomes for both her sons. One of them is always fated to go insane and become the destroyer. There was no way for her to save both of them. And she watched, how in other universes, different incarnations of her chose to save Loki many, many times, letting him know that he was loved, and he never went insane. However the world always ended, because Loki cannot kill his brother. He'd rather die. In those universes that she chose Thor, Thor went ahead, and mourned for the rest of his long life. 
> 
> So Frigga went ahead and watched as her beautiful, gentle son grew bitter, lonely, mistrustful and finally insane. And she closed her eyes to it all. She knew that whichever son she chose, she will still grieve. At least in this, the world would not end.
> 
> It doesn't stop her heart from hurting, though. 
> 
> \+ if Frigga regrets it immensely as she watches Loki self-destruct, and when she holds a dying Loki in her arms, trying desperately to save him, she cannot help but tell him everything. And Loki understands.
> 
> +++ doesn't mean that if he lives through it, he's okay with it. He doesn't blame Odin or Frigga for choosing Thor, not at all. He just questions himself and decides that they chose Thor because he's a monster. That must be the reason.
> 
> ++++++++++ if Odin and Frigga are there for him and it just breaks their heart, looking at Loki. And they are protective and tries in so many ways to tell him that it's their fault, not him.
> 
> Up to author whether it is a happy ending or not. Would prefer if it's GEN, though. Unleash all the angst and hurt and comfort...

Loki lies dying on the ground and yet he's also in shackles with a muzzle keeping his silver tongue from hypnotizing the masses around him.  
  
“Loki Laufeyson, Lie-smith, Walker of Worlds, Maker of Mischief, this past fortnight, you have stood in front of the entirety of Asgard to stand trial. We have heard the testimonies of your brother Thor and the warriors of Midgard, and now, we reach a verdict,”Odin says, banging Gungnir against the ground as an unspoken request for silence after the loud buzzing of whispers the moment Laufeyson was out of the All-father's lips.  
  
Frigga doesn't miss how Loki's eyes narrow, and she also does not miss the contempt barely hidden in his gaze. It was not necessary to mention his true patronymic and it was not necessary to go as far as to sew Loki's lips together underneath the muzzle.  
  
The All-Mother looks away. She knows what's about to happen. She's seen it a thousand times—different circumstances with slightly different versions of her family, and yet ultimately still the same. She does not think she can bear it one more time.

 

  
  
  
Loki lies dying on the ground and yet he is also sitting on Frigga's bed, seeing his seidr at work for the very first time. It was accidental, a result of his excitement. Frigga may have let slip the present Odin's been hiding for Loki's upcoming name day, and so everything within reach of him started to float around in circles.  
  
“Your magic will only grow from now on, Loki,” Frigga tells him fondly, running a hand through his hair. It's short at this point, not yet an immaculately kept bob and not yet a crazy mess of long, curly hair.  
  
“But Mother, magic is for women only. My tutor says so,” Loki says. Emotions are warring on his face—confusion and disgust and wonder and exhilaration.  
  
“Just because it isn't common, does not mean that it's not allowed. It definitely doesn't mean that it's impossible.” Frigga clucks her tongue. “Don't believe what the warriors say. They may look down on our so-called tricks and illusions but we're the ones who keep their backs from being stabbed on the battlefield. And besides, this means you get to spend more time with me as I teach you how to control your magic. Is that not a good thing?”  
  
Loki has the sense to look properly chastised. “Of course it's a good thing, mother. I shall look forward to it.”  
  
Loki grows up with a loving mother by his side who never stops telling him that being different is good and being different does not mean he's alone. He grows up with a loving mother who always tells him the truth and helps him back to reality when he starts to curl into himself, surrounding himself with lies to forget the hurtful truth.  
  
Loki grows up with a loving mother by his side who sacrifices herself and her heart to make sure he does not have to be burdened by Ragnarok.

 

  
  
  
Loki lies dying on the ground and yet he's also on the battleground, hands trembling as he holds a dagger to Thor's throat. He needs to do this, needs to kill his brother, needs to sacrifice love and family to prevent the unraveling of the universe.  
  
“You will not kill me, brother,” Thor says, and he's never been one to lie in any universe.  
  
Loki drops his weapon and instead he conjures chains to bind Thor's arms with. Thor breaks out of them easily enough and sneers at his brother as he crushes them in his hands.  
  
“No one can capture the Mighty Thor!” he bellows, taking a sword from one of the fallen soldiers and runs it through Loki without a thought.  
  
Loki doesn't fight death, doesn't fight Thor. He has never really wanted to.

 

 

 

Loki lies dying on the ground and yet he is across the hall, drinking his mead with a sour expression on his face. It's another feast for another successful quest of Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three. Loki was not allowed on this one because, as the commoners whisper in their markets and in their pubs, an ergi has no place in quests, and most especially in as harsh a realm as Muspelheim. Better a woman who can fight than a man who cannot, they say, as if they haven't seen the younger prince with daggers in his hands.  
  
Loki has heard insults all his life and tonight, he has had enough.  
  
He gets up from his seat and leaves. If people notice, they only snigger and laugh, joking about how jealous and bitter he must be that he cannot bear to even pretend to be merry. Loki tries not to listen to them, but he finds that he cannot.  
  
He keeps his head up as he walks all the way to the rainbow bridge. He smiles at the people he passes, partly in politeness but mostly in the hopes to feel a little bit better. He only feels worse by the time he's standing on the edge of the bridge and feeling the biting cold on his pale skin.  
  
Loki wonders why no one ever smiles at him unless it's to laugh at him. He never figures out the answer, but he does find out how it feels to have the cold envelop his body, to fall so far and long that he doesn't know whether he's closed his eyes against the wind going in his eyes or if he's staring into a void.

 

  
  
  
Loki lies dying on the ground and yet he is on Midgard, away on a quest and away from Frigga's fretting. He and Thor are helping the Midgardians with a Kree problem, allying themselves with the band of warriors who call themselves the Avengers.  
  
“Are my sons doing well, Heimdall?” Frigga asks. She's standing at the entrance of the Bifrost, staring intently at the gatekeeper as if challenging him not to answer.  
  
“They are, my queen. Prince Thor is enjoying himself with regular battle,” Heimdall says. “It also seems that Prince Loki has found his place at last.”  
  
Frigga smiles. Heimdall's not usually one to be so forward, but after numerous occasions with Frigga all but demanding every detail of her sons' adventures on Midgard, he has learned to say the things the queen wants to hear.  
  
“Tell me more,” Frigga says, all but breathless in her joy.  
  
“Prince Loki has found friends in the Midgardian warriors. They are interested in his magic, and they spin stories as well as he does. They understand him, and much better than anyone here on Asgard.”  
  
“Better than I do?” Frigga asks.  
  
“Yes, my queen,” Heimdall says simply. It is the truth, after all.  
  
Frigga rides back to the palace with her heart feeling lighter and her lips stretched in a smile. This universe could only have great things in its future with both her sons so happy, even if it is only prolonged peace.  
  


 

  
  
Loki lies dying on the ground and yet he is in the middle of a wreckage. Everyone but him is dead and everything is on fire. Even Loki burns, and his pain his made much worse by his heat-sensitive jotun form.  
  
And yet he laughs and laughs and laughs.  
  
No one is there to hear it. No one is there to witness his victory. No one is there to scream and cry and curse at him.  
  
There is only Loki and his laughter and Death and her welcoming arms. There is only his screaming and his agony and his pain bottled up in the back of his mind.  
  
There is only Loki until there is nothing at all.  
  
  


  
  
  
Loki lies dying on the ground and there is nothing Frigga can do about it.  
  
Frigga is Loki's mother and she loves him with all her heart, but she is also the All-Mother. She needs to think of the entirety of the universe more than her son who she loves so much.  
  
Because what could her love do anyway? With both sons fated to have a part in Ragnarok and no known way to save the both of them, she sees no more reason to act according to her love.  
  
“Mother, help me,” Loki cries. “Please, I only ever meant to make you and Father proud.”  
  
“Oh, Loki.” Frigga sighs.  
  
Does she let Loki live or does she let the universe thrive? Does she live to one day see everything crumble or does she live to mourn a son? Does she pick Loki or does she pick Thor?  
  
“Mother, please.”  
  
Frigga knows the choice she makes when she holds her son's hands tight and starts to say her goodbyes.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on [tumblr](http://connerkent.tk/)!


End file.
